Category Archives: murder

Update: Joran Will Reveal Location of Natalee’s Body

"I didn't kill this one"

Step one of my theory is coming into fruition quite nicely. Let’s see how long til he ties in some type of gambling addiction…

Police: Van der Sloot Said He Knows Location of Holloway’s Body [CNN]

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Update: Getting Away with Murder…

GGGGGGGGGGGG G-UNIT

Yesterday it was reported that Van Der Sloot confessed  to the Peruvian authorities for last week’s slaying of Stephany Flores. According to media reports, Joran claimed that he and Miss Flores went up to his hotel room and after he, or perhaps both of them, got high he left to go purchase some bread and coffee from a local market. Upon his return Stephany was searching his laptop and came across something or other linking him to the Natalee Holloway killing. She wanted to leave the room, he wouldn’t let her, she pushed him, and he claims he choked her and she died.

Typically this would be the point where Jesse Martin or Jerry Orbach would say, “You did the right thing in confessing this, kid.” Then they would get him some coffee and alert whatever hot assistant Jack McCoy was employing that the suspect confessed.  The show would appear to be over, until you realize there are still thirty minutes left, so some twist had to be in store. Cue Law and Order theme music: DA DA DA DAA DAAAAAA.

(cont’d after jump)

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Getting away with murder…

What, Me Worry?

Last week, Joran Van Der Sloot was arrested In Chile for the murder of a young lady in Peru. However, it wasn’t the young lady that he was suspected of murdering, and admitted to a friend on videotape that he indeed did murder, Natalee Holloway. For those that don’t remember, way back a half decade ago in 2005, Van Der Sloot was accused of murdering Miss Holloway in Aruba. Almost 11 years to the day of the murder OJ Simpson was falsely accused of, we had another murder of an innocent white lady. This time it was in Aruba and the girl was a high school student for goodness sakes. The police accused him of the murder only because he was last seen with her on a beach, had given her drugs and had his buddies come and dump her body off of a boat. While that would have been tremendous evidence for most jurisdictions in the United States, simply wasn’t enough for the authorities in Aruba. Van Der Sloot was never held for more than a few days, and as soon as he was released he was back to his old tricks (sans murder, natch) picking up girls at hotel bars.

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